Pregnancy is a little like catching a wave. Once you’ve started, from the very second that new life is conceived inside you, powerful forces are unleashed to carry you through. You are still the one doing the steering, but there is a Wow! Whoosh! Look out! Kind of quality to it all, as you ride the energies and instincts which are subtly or not-so-subtly coming to the fore.

Even before conception, once your mind and body are set on this course of action, things begin to happen. Many women feel a new and different kind of pleasure in their love-making. There is often a strong feeling of Tightness, purpose, excitement and joy. Some feel more open-hearted and closer to their partner. Men will often delight in the woman’s abandoned and passionate surrender, and be surprised as they start to appreciate the many unexpected benefits of parenthood.

UNPLANNED PREGNANCY ‘But wait a minute,’ you may be saying, ‘what about accidental pregnancies? Or deliberate ones on the part of the woman or man, without their partner’s agreement?’ People do ‘get’ pregnant without discussion, or while pretending that they don’t want a child and slipping up with contraception, or even actively tricking their partner. This simply means that the mixed feelings everyone feels have to be worked through during pregnancy or in the early years with the child. In fact, we know of couples having problems with their 20-year-old offspring, who are still arguing: ‘See, I told you we should never have had kids!’ .

Joking aside, it is not fair to leave this kind of thing hanging around to get in the way of your relationship with your child or your partner. It takes two people to become pregnant. And since you now have a child, it’s time to get on with caring for them.